| Bridesmaid
Dress Attire – Etiquette Guidelines Who Decides
When choosing a bridesmaid dress, it is the bride's privilege to select the color and type
of fabric of the bridesmaids’ dresses. It should complement the bride's gown, but it
should also be comfortable and attractive for the attendants. Consideration should be
given to the bridesmaids’ style, color preferences, their figure types as well as
their budgets.
It is recommended that the bride go shopping with her
Maid/Matron of Honor and/or 1 or 2 of her bridesmaids and see what styles of bridesmaid
dresses they like. Once you narrow it down, you can then get input from your other
bridesmaids if you desire. Ultimately, it is the bride’s decision for the bridesmaid
dress.
Who Pays
When asked to be in a wedding, it is common to get caught up in the excitement and accept
the invitation without thinking it through. Being a bridesmaid can lead to unanticipated
expenses – the bridesmaid dress, matching shoes, accessories, professional hair and
makeup, bridal showers, bachelorette parties and gifts, in addition to engagement parties
and gifts, a wedding gift, and outfits/dresses to wear to the rehearsal dinner, and other
parties - not to mention the cost of travel and accommodations if the wedding is out of
town.
It is traditional for bridesmaids to pay for their own
attire, including accessories. As a result, it is important that the bride take into
consideration each person’s financial situation when asking her friends and family to
participate and to also shop for the most affordable price. The bride should give each
person a graceful opportunity to decline if they cannot afford to participate or have
other personal reasons for needing to decline without making them feel obligated in any
way.
Overweight or Pregnant
Bridesmaids
We all have friends and family who are overweight. On occasion, it is not uncommon that a
bridesmaid may announce she is expecting either after she has accepted your invitation to
be in the wedding or before. One option is to allow the person who is pregnant or
overweight to select a dress in the same fabric and color, but in a style and size that is
more suitable (usually a dress with an empire waist). Some people have the dress custom
made or purchase another dress by the same manufacturer in a different style.
Another option is to let the bridesmaid decide whether she
wants to take on a different role in the wedding (guest book, assist with flower
distribution for the bridal party, etc.) and possibly replace her with another person as a
bridesmaid. Although this can be touchy, sometimes the person really doesn’t want to
be standing on her feet for a long time as it can be very uncomfortable and doesn’t
know how to tell you without hurting your feelings.
Friendships First
In the end, when selecting your bridesmaids’ dresses, it is always best to
try to keep your bridesmaids’ tastes in mind. As the bride, when you look back on
your wedding, you probably won’t care as much about what your bridesmaid dresses
looked like, as much as you will care about how they felt. Their budgets, personalities,
shapes, sizes and opinions should all be factored in to your decision.
When it comes down to the bottom line it is your decision
because it is your wedding. However, try not to forget that the reason they are standing
up in your wedding is because they are the ones that have been there for you in your life.
You don’t want to embarrass them or make them uncomfortable just for your happiness.
Although some dresses are more reusable than others, eventually all styles go out of
fashion. However, your friends and family will never go out of style and will always be
needed.
Bridesmaids
As a bridesmaid, try to be flexible and be willing to compromise to a certain
extent. This is your dear friend’s or relative’s special day and you want her to
be happy too. Don’t let a dress that you may only wear for one day get in the way of
your long time friendship that will hopefully last a lifetime to come. If you really
don’t like the dress, take it to a local consignment store soon after the wedding
while it is still in style.
Best months are in the Spring – right before prom season
and in the Fall – right before homecoming. Otherwise you can donate it to a local
charity. Someone else out there will love the dress and be thrilled to get a bargain. Then
you will have made another person happy too!
 
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